So it seems to surprise a lot of people that I have tattoos. I'm not sure why that is so shocking, but I actually have six! Each one holds a different place in my heart, even though some of them are more visible than others.
I get asked about the tattoos on my wrist a lot, so I thought it would be fun to do a little "tattoo tour", giving you all of the stories. I couldn't decide how to order them, so I'm just going to list them from oldest to newest.
#1 - January 16, 2014 / Thrive Studios, CambridgeOn my left forearm, under my wrist
This turned out bigger than I'd originally imagined, but it is a constant reminder of all the darkness I have been through. "Hope" has gotten me through everything, and so I wanted it done inside of an infinity symbol to signify that hope never gives up, even when you may want to.
I also had it written in my moms' handwriting, because she has always been my rock and I know she will support me through anything.
It hurt quite a bit, but could have also been because I didn't know what to expect. It wasn't unbearable, for the most part, the worst of it being anything that crossed a vein. That burned.
#2 - May 31, 2014 / Somewhere in New York CityRight hip bone
I can't say that a lot of planning went into this one. It was my first time in NYC, I was leaving the next day, and my friend and I decided we wanted to get tattoos done together.
We sat in Central Park calling around for walk-ins, and found one near Port Authority. He and I didn't get the same tattoo, but it was still a nice experience to share.
This didn't hurt at all, and couldn't have taken more than five minutes.
Right side of my rib cage
This is another one that signifies how far I've come in my life, and my struggles with mental illness. It is inspired from the song "Defying Gravity" from Wicked. The first time that I heard this song it resonated with me very strongly, and recommend giving it a listen.
If I had to choose, I would say that this is my favourite tattoo I've gotten, for many reasons. I've always struggled with body image issues, so getting this tattooed on a part of my body I've always been self-conscious about was a huge step in my recovery. The lyrics "I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game. It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes, and leap" get me through the times I'm struggling with decisions or with putting myself first. I'm finally finding the strength to stand on my own two feet, and do whatever I think is best for me - regardless of what anyone else wants from me.
I can't say that this one hurt a lot either, more of an annoying scratching that lasted about an hour.
Top of left foot
This is another one that was inspired from a song, "Warrior" by Demi Lovato. "I need to take back the light inside you stole...but now I'm a warrior and you can never hurt me again."
Something that I keep very private is the struggles I have had with some family members, spanning almost my entire life. Not everyone in my life is supportive of my choices, and in trying to motivate me to be better, pushed me to my breaking point many times. I got this tattoo days within finally breaking off that toxic relationship, and as much as I still hurt over it, I know I am stronger for not looking back.
The day after I got this done, I was in a car accident that totalled my car. I was not at fault, and was knocked across three lanes into a crosswalk. Thankfully no one was hurt, but the first-responders could not believe that I was driving because my car was destroyed, but I managed to walk out. The worst that I suffered was whiplash, and it just further signified my beliefs that I am stronger than I've ever been.
A lot of people say that getting a tattoo on your foot is one of the most painful places, but it didn't bother me much. At the time I had fairly chubby feet, so I'm sure if I got it done post-weight loss it would be rough, but I love it.
Back of neck, between shoulder blades
This one had even less planning involved than the one I got in NYC, I was quite manic when I got this done. I was sitting in class one day wearing my hair in a ponytail, and I randomly thought "I wonder what the back of my neck looks like?" For some reason that made me very self-conscious and anxious, so I decided to get a tattoo.
I picked this one with the intended meaning of music being the only thing louder than my anxious thoughts.
I didn't feel this one at all, but again, I was manic and it was late at night so I ended up falling asleep as he did it.
Inside of right wrist
My most recent tattoo is one I have been wanting to get since I started. This one has so many meanings with "it's time" and the semi-colon.
It's time to put myself first. It's time to love and appreciate the body I've worked so hard for. It's time to stop doubting myself. It's time to stop letting my anxiety run my life. It's time to stop my depression from controlling my thoughts. It's time to break out of my comfort zone, and this is only the beginning.
This one didn't bother me, except again when crossing veins. I wanted it on my wrist so that I could see it constantly, and to again signify my struggles with self-harm. It was the first time I watched the artist do the tattoo, and it was quite a fun experience. My artist was awesome, and we spent the ten minutes just talking and laughing.
I'm done with tattoos for right now, but I think I have a couple more I'll want to get in the future. But for now I hope you enjoyed learning about the ones I've got!
Kristina
No comments:
Post a Comment