I'm sorry that this post is going up late, but I have had a crazy week - as I will explain in my next post.
So on this coming Tuesday, (September 15th) I will be turning 20. TWENTY! And it terrifies me. This last year has helped me grow into a better, stronger adult but leaving my teens behind is very overwhelming!
This year I am back in University for my second year, which means I am away from my family and friends. Granted, I have friends here but it isn't quite the same. In fact it kind of solidifies the "adult" feeling that I am trying to escape.
What scares me the most about starting my twenties, is that it is the time in your life when you are expected to know where you are going. You are now an adult, after all.
If you asked me four years ago what I wanted to do, I would have said go to school, get a teaching degree, and be married by age 23. If you asked me now, I would probably just sit and cry - because I don't know. Married by 23 is more than likely not going to happen, I'm not looking at teaching right now, but I am in school! However, if you asked me two and a half years ago what my plans were, I couldn't tell you that I would even live to see 20. I was in such a depression, and had thought (and attempted) suicide on many occasions - that I didn't think I would survive my teens.
I want all of you to know that if you are struggling, you can get through this. Take it from me, there is so much else going on that you should be around to experience.
I go back and forth between wanting to go to graduate school and travelling the world - and people saying I can only choose one. Who says I can't get my undergraduate, travel, and then go to graduate school? Why do I have to be married and have children so young? I can hardly take care of myself, I can't imagine having to take care of another living thing.
If I could say something to my 16 year-old self that was sure she had her life planned out, it would be that "the world is bigger than you think it is". It wasn't until two years ago that I started really branching out and travelling without my family - Washington, DC, New York, and of course New Brunswick for university. Four years ago my goal was to go to a university seven minutes away from my house.
And I am so glad I didn't.
I might be 23 before I get my first degree, but that is okay with me - because I am here getting an education, no matter how long it takes.
So goodbye teen years, and hello twenties.
